Scrooge's Treasure Island
by Stretch Snodgrass
Summary: Scrooge discovers that the story of Treasure Island is true, and decides to hunt for the bar silver and arms left behind by the original treasure hunters. However, he has some competition.
1. The Real Thing

Scrooge's Treasure Island

The Real Thing

"Bless me bagpipes," exclaimed Scrooge, jumping from his large arm chair and tearing his newspaper in excitement.

"Is McDuck stock up again, sir?" asked Duckworth drolly, while continuing to polish a nearby table.

"Better than that, Duckworth," said Scrooge, waving the paper into Duckworth's face. "Read this!"

Duckworth glanced at the paper Scrooge was waving only a few inches from his nose. "Robert Louis Drakenson's Pirate Story ,Treasure Island, the Real Thing."

"You mean that the story is based on a real pirate treasure?" Duckworth said, incredulously.

"Yes . . . and No," said Scrooge. "It's not _based _on a real treasure, it's _about _a realtreasure. If you read the article, you'll find out that Drakenson met the real Jim Duckens when the latter was an old man."

"The cabin boy?" observed Duckworth. "The narrator of the story."

"Yes" said Scrooge. "With Duckens permission, Drakenson wrote out the story for the world to read. Just recently, a descendent of Duckens admitted as much to a reporter investigating the story."

"Yes sir, but what does this have to do with you? That treasure was recovered over 200 years ago."

"Are you daft man?" exclaimed Scrooge. "Have you never read the book? What did Jim Duckens say at the end?"

"Something about oxen and wain ropes not dragging him back to the "accursed" island," Duckworth said.

"Aye," said Scrooge. "Because he didn't want to go after the bar silver and arms Flint buried, and that the _Hispaniola_ left behind."

"Is it worthwhile?" asked Duckworth.

"It is," said Scrooge. "The price of silver is high enough to justify the recovery. 200 year old pirate weaponry is also worth its weight in, well, not gold, but silver at least!"

Scrooge sighed.

"More than that," he continued, "Treasure Island is one of my favourite books, and it would be a dream come true to go after part of the treasure of Captain Flint!"

"But _where is _Treasure Island? asked Duckworth.

"I don't know" Scrooge admitted. "Even in the story, Jim Duckens refused to give the latitude and longitude. But we know what it looks like - the book has a map - and I'll find it if I have to get Launchpad to fly me over every square inch of the Carribean.

Scrooge, however, was not the only one after the arms and bar silver.

Far away, in Mount Vesuvius, Magica Despell cackled as she read her copy of Sorceress's monthly.

"Ah," she said. "This is too good. Even this smidgen of Captain Flint's treasure left behind by that calf of an English squire, that silly doctor, and stupid innkeeper's boy will make me, Magica, most powerful."

She waved up a copy of the book.

"Captain Flint, Billy Bones, Long John Silver, Pew, Black Dog, and the rest of them - what evil doings and foul deeds they committed to amass their treasure. It would be better to have the whole thing, true, but the bar silver and the arms - _especially the arms_ - they bear the psychic vibrations of all the evil done in amassing the cache."

"Murder, piracy, mutiny, treachery, greed," Magica smiled at an illustration of Pew, the vicious blind man. "Ah dahlings, what evil you've imprinted on your treasure. Enough evil, if used properly, to fuel the spells I need to seize Scrooge's number one dime and rule the world!"

_Note: In Home Sweet Homer, Scrooge begins the episode by describing Treasure Island as one of his favourite books. Given it was written by a Scottish author, came out when he was young, and featured a treasure hunt (though that's not where the main action lies), this is no real surprise._

_I do not mean any disrespect for the great author Robert Louis Stevenson, lest anyone should get the wrong idea. The premise is basically, what if Treasure Island were true, and Scrooge and Magica decided to chase after what was left._


	2. Where is Treasure Island

Where is Treasure Island?

Scrooge had found his nephews outside, flying toy airplanes with Launchpad.

"Watch this boys!" Launchpad exclaimed.

He made his model plane do a triple loop, flew it into the knothole of a nearby tree, and out once again - to the annoyance of some goldfinches nesting nearby.

"Great going," exclaimed Louie.

However, as Launchpad was bringing the plane down for a landing, without warning the antenna on the plane unexpectedly shorted out in a shower of sparks.

"I can't control her," said Launchpad, fiddling helplessly with the controls.

"Runaway plane!" cried Dewey.

The tiny craft made a beeline for Scrooge, who ducked at the last minute.

"Can't you even fly a toy plane properly!" Scrooge exclaimed.

"The control's busted," Launchpad said.

He chased after the plane, catching it but tripping as he did so.

"Oomph," said Launchpad. However, he hadn't fall on the toy craft and no damage was done.

"Any crash that you can carry away the plane from is a good one," said Launchpad.

"Now that's over," said Scrooge, "I have news."

Scrooge told Launchpad and his nephews the news about Treasure Land, and how he sought to find the bar silver and arms that had long laid hidden in that lonely isle.

"Oh boy," shouted Huey, "A hunt for _real pirate treasure_!"

"Aye," said Scrooge. "And the pirates are long gone, so there'll be no problem with you boys coming along - and helping me dig up the treasure."

"Yippee," said Huey, Dewey and Louie.

"It'll probably take a few weeks to find the island, though," Scrooge observed.

"I don't think we'll have to look for the island," Launchpad countered, winking at the nephews. They gave him the thumbs up.

"Of course we have to look for it!" said Scrooge. "Nobody alive knows where the blasted place is!"

"I bet it's in the _Junior Woodchucks Guidebook_!" said Launchpad.

"Ridiculous!" scoffed Scrooge.

"It's here," Dewey announced, having briefly thumbed through the guide.

"_Treasure Island is most famously the place where Captain Flint buried his ill gotten gains. Some years later the bulk of Flint's treasure was recovered and shared by a party of honest treasure hunters (despite the efforts of Long John Silver): Captain Smollet, Squire Trelawny, Doctor Livesey, Jim Duckens, and Abraham _Gray.

_Treasure Island lies in the Carribean, but is relatively isolated, hundreds of miles away from the nearest inhabited country. The island is found at Latitude 25 degrees North, Longitude 75 degrees West."_

"That cannot be!" Scrooge objected. "There's nothing there but seawater."

"Where else would a secret treasure island be but surrounded by seawater?" Launchpad pointed out.

Scrooge shrugged.

"Well then it's off to 25, 75" said Scrooge to his nephews.

Scrooge turned to Launchpad, sharply adding "Just make sure you're ready with one of your larger helicopters at sunup tomorrow morning!"

"Right-O, Mr. McD," Launchpad replied, with a salute.

Thousands of miles away, Magica Despell was once again laughing. She seen (and heard) the entire conversation, reflected (and recorded) by a magic potion she had brewed in her cauldron.

"Launchpad will not be the only one ready at sunup tomorrow morning!" said Magica. "I will follow the money magnet Scrooge McDuck, get the treasure and use its powers to force him to give me number one dime. All in one morning!"

Magica laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more, only stopping when she was gasping for breath.

"I sometimes get too carried away," she admitted.


	3. The Treasure Hunt

The Treasure Hunt

Launchpad flew the helicopter down into the morning mists floating above the island. For a brief while nothing could be seen except for the tall hill called the spyglass, steep on the sides and flat on top.

"There it is," said Scrooge, well satisfied. "I have half a mind to put off the treasure hunt and look around at the sights Drakenson described in the book."

"Let's see the stockade, where Duckens and the rest held off Long John Silver" suggested Louie.

"It would be rotted to pieces by now," Scrooge observed. "Besides, I said I had _half a mind _to do so. I would only _have half a mind_ if I were to put off the hunt."

"Let's go after the bar silver first, Launchpad," said Scrooge.

The directions to the bar silver were laid out in the book, which repeated the directions of Flint.

"_The bar silver is in the north cache; you can find it by the trend of the east hummock,  
ten fathoms south of the black crag with the face on it_"

Launchpad flew toward the extreme north of the island, as the day grew more and more clear.

"The island really does look like a fat dragon standing up," said Scrooge, exultantly. "Just like Duckens said."

"I don't think so," said Launchpad. "But then again I haven't seen many fat dragons standing up. Looks more like a lizard standing on a rock."

"We saw a fat dragon when we went with Gyro to Quackalot," observed Louie. "It really doesn't look much like one."

Scrooge and the rest strained their eyes to look for a black crag with a face on it. It was soon spotted:

"It looks just like a pirate's head" said Dewey.

The face on the black crag sported a cave shaped like a mouth with broken stalactites and stalagmites for teeth. A rocky outcropping formed a long, twisted nose. The two eyes were depressions in the hill, one larger than the other, and suggestive of an eye patch. The top of the hill was irregularly shaped, suggesting a pirate captain's three cornered cap.

"Seems old Flint was not so particular about hiding his silver than he was about his gold," said Launchpad.

"Let's not forget that the gold itself was hidden under a tree tall enough to be seen from the sea," Scrooge replied. "But anyways, it does seem simply found."

"It's a lot easier scouting for treasure by air plane," Huey chimed in.

"Almost too easy," replied Dewey. "There's no reading a treasure map and taking out steps."

"There'll be some of that," replied Scrooge. "But best of all, there'll be finding the treasure and collecting it."

Scrooge laughed in anticipation, only interrupted by a light jarring as Launchpad landed in the soft sand south of the hill.

Shovels in hand, the ducks left the helicopter.

"So the treasure's not in the hill, but to the south, eh Mr. McD?" asked Launchpad.

"Aye," said Scrooge. "10 fanthoms, that's about 60 feet southward"

"Where the skeleton is pointed," observed Launchpad grimly.

Sure enough, a skeleton, yellowed and brittle with age, was laid out pointing southward.

"In the book, a skeleton pointed to the place the main treasure was buried" Scrooge observed.

"Yeah, Flint killed the six men who came ashore with him" Launchpad noted.

"He must have used three of them as treasure pointers," Huey observed.

"Let that be a lesson to you boys," said Scrooge, looking grimly at the skeleton. "For all the fun and games playing pirate these days, in real life they were nothing but thieves and murders. They were the gangsters of their times."

"Kids play gangsters nowadays too," Launchpad pointed out.

"It doesn't make those robbing assasins any better," said Scrooge.


	4. The North Cache

The North Cache

"There's really no secret about this," grumbled Louie, as they started their short walk southwards.

"It would be secret enough if we did not have the clues," said Scrooge. "In the story, the maroon Ben Quack was left ashore because he couldn't find any treasure after a week of searching"

Their way led over a short rise, and resulted in disappointment. The treasure had obviously been dug up some weeks ago, the bar silver was gone!

"Awk!" gasped Scrooge.

The nephews scowled.

Launchpad took a closer look.

"The grass hasn't grown in yet," he said. "Someone must have dug it up in the past few months. Otherwise all that would be left would be a grassy slope or some sort of puddle."

"Blast me bagpipes!" complained Scrooge.

"I will blast more than that" interjected Magica Despell. "I have been waiting for you here all morning!

"You WITCH!" Scrooge exclaimed. "What have _you _done with Flint's treasure!

"What have I done with it!" Magica screamed. "I arrived on the island at dawn, looking for the pirate weapons! They have been stolen. I came here for the silver! It's also gone! Where are _my_ pirate weapons?" she demanded. "What have you done with Flint's silver?"

"How should we know?" Launchpad replied, but in a slightly subdued voice. "We just got here!"

"Don't tell me Launchpad's afraid of Magica?" Louie whispered to Huey.

"Not afraid," Dewey interjected quietly. "Sort of nervous. Launchpad's adventures don't involve much of this weird magical stuff."

Meanwhile, Scrooge was considering the question. Suddenly, the metaphorical lightbulb lit up.

"How _should we know_! Great Scott! _I should have known_!" said Scrooge to himself.

"Well, where have you hidden the treasure!" said Magica.

"We haven't got it," Scrooge replied. "Mount your overgrown whiskbroom and fly away."

Magica scowled, but her countenance unexpectedly broke into a malevolent smirk.

"I don't know if you have treasure or not, Scroogie darling" Magica said. "But I am not going anywhere right not, and neither are you, _never_."

Magica laughed.

"I have you, nephews, and pilot alone here, on this island of evil memory. I will finish with you here, now and forever, and go back to Duckburg and steal your number one dime.

"Dream on," scoffed Scrooge.

"You'll never get Uncle Scrooge's lucky dime," said the nephews, in unison.

"You and what army!" Launchpad put in.

"Ah, Launchpad darling, you should have asked me _"you and what navy!_" Magica cackled.

_Note: What business do I have suggesting Launchpad is afraid of Magica? Or nervous about Magica's magic. In Magica's Shadow War Launchpad seems to be afraid of the shadows and unusually nervous about the crisis, at least in comparison to his usual demeanor. In The Golden Fleecing, Launchpad is terrified of the Harpies, which is in sharp contrast to his usual attitude to non-supernatural foes. _

_There's also the fact that Launchpad is seldom seen in the same episode as Magica DeSpell_

_(In fact, I believe there's only two)_

_Note that I said Magica makes Launchpad nervous, not actually afraid._


	5. The Accursed Island

The Accursed Island

Magica rubbed her hands together gleefully.

_Power of magic, ancient laws,_

_serve my horrible purpose,_

_on this island ever accursed,_

_revive those who spilt their blood here for wicked purpose._

"Let us not forget . . ." Magica added:

_Power of magic, ancient laws,_

_bring here the blue faced sot,_

_whose ill deeds have not been forgot._

"_What's that _gonna do?" asked Huey.

"I think she means business" said Launchpad, warily raising his shovel as if he meant to use it for a club.

"Let's not panic just because she threatens some magical mumbo jumbo," said Scrooge, sternly.

The mumbo jumbo over, nothing happened for a few seconds. Then suddenly, some sixteen or seventeen small clouds of smoke appeared on the far side of the evacuation. The clouds each dispersed with a "pop", reveal a haggard sailor with skin tinted a peculiar shade of green. Gruesomely enough, their clothes were both muddied and bloodstained; moreover, in places the clothes were either pockmarked with bullet holes or visibly shredded by some sort of knife or cutlass.

"QUACKAROONIE!" said the nephews.

"Zombies!" added Huey.

"Not just zombies," said Launchpad shakily. "Pirate zombies! And . . . they're armed!"

They _were_ armed, with the swords and pistols they must have had on them when they met their end.

"Aye," Scrooge observed, remarkably steady. "The pirates who accompanied Flint on his treasure hunt. The mutineers from the _Hispaniola _- those who died trying to murder the innocent party."

All this time, the pirates had done very little but look around stunned, as if they had suddenly been roused from a deep sleep.

One more cloud of smoke appeared, it vanished to reveal a particularly appalling sea captain who was blue, not green in the face. Aside from the fact he had no eyepatch, he looked the very image of the face on the hill.

The sea captain's expression was one of anger mixed with a general hideousness.

"Captain Flint!" Scrooge exclaimed.

"Who died drinking rum at Savanna" Launchpad added.

Magica laughed.

"Seize them!" she ordered.

_Note: Magica begins her spells (or a spell) with "Power of Magic, Ancient Laws" in Dime Enough for Luck, and makes sure they rhyme. As for zombies, that seems to be a fear of Huey, Dewey and Louie in Bermuda Triangle Tangle. The pirates are gruesome, to be sure, but no more so (in my opinion) than in the Pirates of the Carribean._


	6. The Pirates Attack

The Pirates Attack

The situation seemed hopeless for Scrooge, Launchpad and the nephews . . . but Scrooge didn't see it that way.

"Lads, hold your ground - and your shovels!" ordered Scrooge.

"But they have guns!" said Louie.

"Guns which have nay been cleaned nor fired these past 300 years" Scrooge said.

"Arr," interrupted Captain Flint, the most alert of the still dazed pirates. "You'll see what my pistol does to those landlubber's who'll dare to steal my treasure!"

"Do you worst, _Flinty_" said Scrooge, laughing at his joke.

Flint took aim with a pair of once handsome silver pistols, now badly tarnished. The pistols blew up in Flint's hands.

A couple of the other pirates followed suit, to similar (and sometimes no) results.

"At them with your swords, stupid ones!" ordered Magica.

"We're not afraid of you, _Captain _Magica!" said Scrooge, winking at Launchpad and Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

Launchpad and the triplets winked back.

"Yonder sea-hag is not the captain of _my _lot!" roared Flint. "She and you'll all be cut to parts when I'm through! With the cutlasses, you mangy sea-dogs"

"What!" roared Magica.

"You have a loyal crew, _Captain Flint_," Launchpad pointed out. "So loyal, they'd let you kill six of them to keep the location of your treasure a secret!"

"Aye," said a tall pirate duck, whose green complexion was in stark contrast to his yellow hair. "We have a bone to pick with _Flint_!

"Aye, that'll be true, Allardyce!" said another pirate. "Shiver me timbers! To think I'll obey Flint with him killing me in cold blood!"

"Aye" said four more in unison.

The six pirates raised their swords and made for Flint.

"You'll not be attacking the captain of the _Walrus_!" said another pirate.

"Aye!" said two others.

Flint, his two defenders, and six attackers went at each other with drawn cutlasses. It was heated fight, but none of their swords seemed to have any effect. It was no wonder, all of them already being dead.

"Mallard Hands!" said Dewey, spotting a grizzled duck to the side. "Wasn't it you who murdered O'Brien over there!"

"That be true!" said another duck in a nightcap. "You've breathed your last, Mallard!" he sneered.

O'Brien dashed at Hands, cutlass drawn. With a clash of iron, they stood swords locked against each other, swords inches away from one another's throats

"Wasn't it O'Brien and Hands who lost the _Hispaniola _to Jim Duckens?" said Scrooge slyly.

"Yes, the _cabin boy_, the _innkeeper's son_, Jim Duckens," said Launchpad. "He managed to _steal _the ship from under their noses."

"Arr," said a couple more pirates, making for Hands and O'Brien, turning that particular brawl into a three way fight.

"Here now," ordered a dog, with a bandage around his head, green skin offset by yellow eyes. "It not be Hands or O"Brien's fault we lost the _Hispaniola _and the 700,000 pounds! It be that infernal bungler, Long John Silver!"

"Are you going to let them talk about _Barbeque _that way?" Huey pointed out.

"NO," said a couple of pirates, themselves drawing a couple of cutlasses.

"Belay that talk, George Merry!" said another, picking up another useless pistol.

"If ye be so loyal, tell me where's Long John now?" Merry demanded.

"I'd sooner be keel hauled than take any orders from you, Geroge," another of the pirates said, "If that be so important, answer me this: Where's old Morgan, young Johnson? Where's Ben Quack? Why ain't those lubbers around?"

"You know why they're not here, you headless oafs!" Magica screamed, watching the scene with growing exasperation.

"They didn't end up dying on ridiculous desert isle! Now go do as pirates do and get me Scrooge!"

Nothing, however, could be further from the pirate's minds. Flint and his supporters were battling the six men slain _for their help_ in burying the pirate's hoard. Hands and O'Brien were fighting one other, as well as the pirates furious at the pair for the loss of the good ship _Hispaniola. _George Merry and his two supporters were fighting Long John Silver's loyalists. Iron clanged again and again, but the pirates seems immune from one another's attacks.

Scrooge, Launchpad, Huey, Dewey, and Louie watched this scene in stunned silence.

Magica watched above on her broomstick, turning crimson with anger.

"Shouldn't we go, while they're busy fighting?" Launchpad whispered.

"Right!" the nephews whispered in turn.

"Not yet," said Scrooge. "Not until Magica's done with this lot."

They didn't have long to wait. A minute later . . . .

"ENOUGH" shouted Magica.

_Power of magic, ancient laws,_

_put these goons the way they was!_

With that, the pirates were engulfed in an enormous cloud of black smoke that spread far enough to sting the nephews eyes and send Scrooge and Launchpad into a coughing fit.

When the smoke dispersed, there was nothing to be seen of the pirates but a few dropped cutlasses.

"Not my best idea" mourned Magica, who herself was looking the worse for wear from that last cloud of smoke.

"Aye," said Scrooge, "Not your best idea!"

"Yeah," Launchpad put in, "Why don't you make like your zombie pirates and vanish!"

"Yeah!" added Huey, Dewey and Louie.

"I will be back for all of you - especially you Scrooge dahling - and lucky dime, another time" Magica sneered.

"Giddup," she ordered her broomstick, "and quickly. It has been bad day. Daylight come and me want to go home."

The broomstick obliged, a little too well, as it launched in a crowd of smoke leaving Magica to hold on for dear life as it swayed, tossed, and looped its erratic way back to Mount Vesuvius.

_Note: Scrooge's reference to "Flinty" is, of course, a reference to his worst enemy Flintheart Glomgold (as Scrooge himself describes Flinty in The Golden Goose Part II). Scrooge calls Flintheart Flinty several time, the first time being at the start of Wrongway in Ronguay)_

_Magica has a habit of sudden departures upon having her plans going awry. For example, Duck to the Future, Nothing to Fear, and Raiders of the Lost Harp._

_I thought it was natural enough that the "zombie pirates" should fight one another. I hope no one feels cheated as a result._


	7. And Last

And Last

"That looks like it'll be some crash," Launchpad observed, after Magica had finally vanished over the horizon.

"Magica always knew how to make an exit," Scrooge responded.

"Thank goodness," said Louie. "We sure dodged a close one."

"They outnumbered us," Scrooge agreed, "But we had the better weapons."

"All we had were shovels!" Huey pointed out.

"Aye," said Scrooge.

Scrooge carried his shovel to one of the fallen cutlasses. Picking up the cutlass, Scrooge showed it to Launchpad and the nephews. It was brown with rust.

Scrooge whacked it with the shovel. The blade crumbled away.

"Aside from that," Scrooge noted, "some people, pirates especially, never learn from their mistakes. Even after they've been dead, nearly three hundred years."

_A week went by. Scrooge was in his mansion, sitting at his role top desk, talking on his old fashioned speaker phone. Launchpad was helping Huey, Dewey and Louie fix their toy planes._

"Aye," said Scrooge, "Just as I thought. Thank you Murdoch."

Scrooge hung up, and swivelled around facing the others.

"That was my London agent," Scrooge told them. "I was so agitated by the thought of finding what was Flint's treasure, I overlooked something a wee McDuckling would have considered!"

"What was that?" asked Huey.

"Why would Ducken's kin, after well over a century had gone by, admit that Treasure Island was real! Why would they reveal the existence of millions in silver and arms if it were still there waiting for someone to pick it up? It wouldn't do to just hide the latitude and longitude, with aircraft, radar, and any number of modern gizmo's, _anyone _would be able to find the island!"

"Because it didn't matter!" Dewey exclaimed. "The last pieces of treasure had already been removed!"

"Right you are," Scrooge said. "A few months ago the silver and arms had been dug up and taken by ship to England, into the hands of the many kin of Duckens, Trewlawny, Livesey, Grey, and Smollett. The silver is to be sold, well over its value, to collectors while the arms will soon be displayed at the British Museum."

Scrooge paused.

"I was daft to think that the treasure was still there! It was only on the island, after our disappointment, that I came to my senses!"

"It could happen to anyone," said Launchpad.

"Aye," said Scrooge, in a serious tone. "But it happened to _me_, the richest duck in the world. Greed can even pull the wool over _my _eyes!

Scrooge suddenly grinned.

"Luckily, our trip wasn't for naught! There's still _gold _on that island!"

"What!" said Launchpad, and the nephews in unison.

Scrooge pulled out a chart.

"Gold, in the form of _Scrooge McDuck's Treasure Island Tropical Resort_."

"Of course," sighed the others.

"Nobody has ever actually _owned _the island. Murdoch has secured me legal title, for a song. A Carribean resort hotel is a gold mine! The scenic north shore is an excellent place for a hotel away from it all! It's also a great place for docking McDuck cruise ships! The more adventurous can go on genuine Treasure Island tours! See the stockade, restored! See where the bulk of the treasure was buried! The swamp where the mutineers camped! I might even get one of Duckens kinsmen to give the tour . . . .

The End

_Notes: "And Last" is the title of the last chapter of Treasure Island. _

_ In "The Golden Fleecing" Scrooge's greed literally "pulls the wool over his eyes"_

_ Why wouldn't Scrooge turn Treasure Island into a Carribean resort hotel?_


End file.
